Sadness

Team lists for the Adelaide Summer League Ice Hockey competition were announced last night and for the first time in six years my name wasn't there.  I had to make a very difficult decision earlier in the year which resulted in my not registering to play this season.  It was not an easy decision to make but I had no realistic options.  Life has gotten extremely busy with some intense family commitments that are unpredictable in their timing and duration, some new weekday commitments that make a heavy demand on my body, and financial contraints.  Any one (or even two) of these factors could have been worked around, but not all three.  I would have ended up taking a roster position on the Knights and not being able to make an indeterminate number of games.  Not very good, considering my circumstances prevent my from practice and training in any event.  So, to be fair to myself and to my team I let it slide for this season.

I didn't realise how much I would be affected by my withdrawal from the team.  On the night the team lists were released I found myself extremely maudlin, moping around the house looking at a grey world.  It's the closest I've been to being depressed for years and I didn't like it.  The next day a friend observed that this showed how much I enjoyed the game and all that goes with it.  He was right, over the past few years my commitment to the sport has been one of the constants in my life and my personal identity.  No wonder I felt aimless.

Not for long, however, because I have put in place a 'Plan B'.  I will aim at returning to the ice NEXT summer, and have even put my name down for a new Knights Jersey and number allocation to make this a 'real' possibility.  In the meantime, realising that I will have to keep myself in touch with skating skills and fitness, I will get out my inline skates and put in some concentrated work this summer on my own.  I know enough about the sport to be able to work myself up a program that works on individual skills and conditioning.  Then, come winter, I will aim at playing inline hockey at Gawler for a season.  Probably Division 2, considering that I won't have played hockey for over a year by then and won't be able to make team practice.  The aim of the inline games will be to satisfy the craving for competitive hockey, build up match fitness, and work on the team aspects in my development program.

It might not be as good as playing in the coming campaign, but at least it's a plan.

Now pardon my while I go away and have a good cry...