Effort, Execution, Emotion. The Big E's in any game, but particularly those in which the Expectations are high. For example, finals. Other examples; I've played two 'first games' (ie in ice and inline hockey), a 'must win' regular season ice game, elimination, semi and grand finals in inline. All of these games had a high level of potential angst associated with them.
And yet, it wasn't any of these landmark games that created the most anxiety in me. No, that honour goes to another game on the ice, one which I can't even place in terms of against which opponent, at least partly due the mental fade out which I suffered as a result of failing the three E's game. My second game, the only game I've played where I came away unhappy.
My first game had gone off okay as first games go, me not having a clue about what to do and just being totally bombarded with sensory impacts and a rising tide of decisions. Resultant effect, I kept falling down (and getting up again). Luckily, me and my team, coach, audience (missus) were all expecting nothing less, so it was all good fun. The pre-game nerves were a part of the whole thing, of the quality of a fool jumping off a cliff. All good, in other words.
My second game, however, was presaged with a week of mentally rehearsing the simple positional instructions I had decided I needed to learn if I was to contribute in any meaningful way to my team, every day and at every opportunity I had (eg. quiet time in the morning, walking to the bus stop, bus trip, idle minutes at work, lunch 'hour', in the evening).
So, although the basic positional requirements were well and truly implanted by the time I got to the game, I was a nervous wreck. I think this goes a lot with the fact that there were Expectations associated with the visualisations I had immersed myself at an existential level. These were not just idle thoughts or dreams, but a plan and a blueprint and an instruction and a program. Which of course led to the anxiety when the ideal world considered the fact that I still didn't really have a clue what I was doing out there.
So, by the time I got to the ice, my brain was tired and my nerves were too busy getting over their stress to do what you need them to do in a game. Which led to reduced execution of the basics. Which started to have its own impact on both emotion (disappointment as I became further and further incapable of achieving what was so clear in my mind) as well as effort (ended up being the game with least ice time all season). Big lesson.
No Funerals, No Parades.
Inspired by Kim McCullough at Let's Play Hockey.
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